After taking time to think what was right for baby and me, we requested a Caesarean / Kristal
The biggest fear for me when thinking of having a baby was the blood tests and needles, the machines, the hospital and giving birth - it's amazing what our minds and past trauma can convince us is fear. Pre-conception, I undertook Hypnotherapy for 6 months to be in a position that I could have a blood test without 'passing out'. After conceiving - I was fixated on getting in the right mindset to handle what was ahead which led me to Renee from The Birth Space. In wanting to avoid hospitals I believed I needed a vaginal, minimal intervention home birth however was aware home birth (pending pregnancy progress) may not be possible. In my mind, the above preferences allowed me to avoid my fears and be comfortable. We had 1:1 classes quite early on in the pregnancy 5-6 months, so I could prepare for what lay ahead of us mentally, and also to understand our options. Prior to the course, we had 'signed up' to an OB at the nearest hospital to our home address (as we had private health) but knew after the course, things may change but didn't want to miss out.
The Hypnobirthing sessions absolutely set us up for success (my partner also), allowed us to ask as many questions as we wanted (as trivial as they may seem) and start to understand our rights and what lay ahead. We also watched the Birth Time documentary which was a new release at the time and this further cemented our rights and options. At this stage I was questioning what I truly wanted, what was best for me/ us/our baby and how I wanted to feel on that birthing day. Also a birth plan - should it not take the preferred route, how do I want it to play out, if we progressed with the hospital birth do I trust my OB has my best interests at heart and will listen, explain and consultatively approach this - or will I fall into the pre-determined 'system' that the private hospital pathway can tend to follow.
I secretly hoped the OB I was currently seeing wouldn't be there on the birth day - her manner was cold, non-consultative and too direct for my style. Friends had spoken of their OB's as if they were super hero's, needed to ensure they birthed with the same OB for all their children and had the utmost respect for them. I felt none of these things - the total opposite actually. I needed to make a change - ASAP. After weighing up all options (Private/ Public/ Home/ Hospital etc) and ringing around I secured an appt with a new OB in a hospital a further distance away. I was informed as I was beyond 30 weeks now, its unlikely the Dr will accept me, but the receptionist agreed to make a consultation appointment for me to meet him and he would make the decision. At this stage, a hospital, low intervention, vaginal birth was my primary birth plan, however it needed to be with the right OB.
His manner was consultative, warm, conversational and open yet the level of trust, honestly, wisdom and interest was polar opposite to our current OB. He listened, he wanted to help me achieve a vaginal, low intervention private hospital birth. As my weekly appointments progressed, it became clear I was carrying a large baby - est. 4.5kg at 38weeks.
We discussed with the OB post various growth scans and checks to proceed with Induction at 38 + 5. As per my wishes discussed with the OB, I ideally wanted to avoid the drip and ARM, and see if natural labour could be 'kicked off' via other induction means.
Night 1 - Induction via Tape was not a success and resulted in me cramping and vomiting and a decision was made to remove the tape that evening. We needed a 12 hour break before trying the gel.
Night 2 - Induction via Gel at a low dose, there was no progression. A further dose was given at midnight (same low dose) to continue to try and progress things for my body to take over the contractions. Contractions commenced, but didnt continue.
Day 3 - Induction via Gel (third and final low dose), again contractions were felt, however no progress.
Night 3 - The OB visited and confirmed, there was no progress. He discussed options with us for consideration.
1) Drip + ARM - not recommended as if the above methods had not encouraged baby to progress, this could not be a great outcome forcing the situation to contractions which could result in complications.
2) Go home and wait - which is totally OK if thats what we want to do, wait till baby is ready - however as baby was already est. 4.5kg at 38 weeks, baby will continue to grow which will mean a larger baby passing through which could result in a range of outcomes - however it was also totally viable.
3) Move to C Section - the procedure could be completed that evening should we wish to proceed, baby comes into the world in a non emergency situation however this is not the vaginal plan we had hoped for.
The OB and Midwives left us for 30mins to weigh up our options.
After taking time to think about pros/cons/scenarios and what was right for baby and me amongst lots of tears and fears, we requested a C-Section.
At 2100 I was taken to theatre with Hypno tracks playing via earphones, face covered in essential oils, wet flannel on forehead and eyes closed. The room was so calm, consultative and supportive. Whilst having the spinal my OB had one hand and my partner the other as I cried my fears away, this was happening, we would shortly meet our big baby boy and conquer all of my fears in the process.
I dont remember a lot during the procedure itself other than my partners face and supportive words, the smell of essential oils, a cool flannel on my forehead and the hypno tracks - then he arrived at 2238, 23/Nov/21 - Kai, 4.5kg, 54cm long. He was perfect!
We completed recovery in the theatre itself as it was afterhours - quiet, calm and relaxed. I couldnt thank my OB and the team enough for getting Kai here safely and taking care of us.
When we arrived at our room, we ate and enjoyed the love bubble of happiness, it was overwhelming. The next morning, catheter was out, pneumatic tights off, I was up and about showered by 11am. Daily walks and keeping moving helped recovery significantly. We departed hospital 4 nights later.
I have no trauma or regret associated with giving birth via a C Section or the decisions that led to that outcome, and to be honest, I feel so blessed that by the means Kai arrived here, I am now free of all fears and phobias from that very moment - almost reborn! We have the upmost respect for our OB - respecting our wishes, providing options and keeping us informed. Once having a baby, you realise that the birth is just the beginning, breast feeding, cracked nipples, burping, nappies - the fun has just began. Being at peace with your decisions, knowing your options and feeling supported are all things hypnobirthing aids with to set you up for success and to advocate for whats right for you.
