I would always joke about how my pain threshold is pretty much non existent
It was a Friday morning, the 1st of October 2021. I knew that tonight my best friend's partner was planning to pop the question and I wanted to enjoy a champagne to celebrate with them. My husband, Nick, and I had been trying for a baby for a while and my period was due that day. I didn't have any inkling that I was pregnant but thought I had better do a pregnancy test just incase. Safe to say, I was in cahoots with the bar staff that night to make sure my champagne was "champagne" and that Friday turned into one of the most joy filled days of my life so far! Within a few days of seeing those lines on the test, I completed the application for the King Edward Family Birth Centre (FBC). When I heard back from them to say that I had been accepted,
I was so excited but also a bit apprehensive about the idea of birthing drug free. Nick and I would always joke about how my pain threshold is pretty much non existent so I knew I wanted to do a hypnobirthing course to prepare us so we booked into Renee's classes.
Thankfully, my pregnancy was low risk and fairly non eventful. I had all of my appointments at the FBC with our incredible midwife. I was expecting to go over 40 weeks being a first time mum but I was getting lower back aches and period like cramping in the week leading up to my birth (which I now know was early labour!).
On the morning of the 7th of June, 2022 at 6am I woke up to my first proper contraction. I was 39 weeks and 4 days. Although, having never felt a contraction before, I doubted whether it really was one so I didn't wake Nick and instead jumped in the shower.
It was a chilly morning and I had to wash my hair (priorities) and shave my legs (as much of them as I could reach) so it was a long and steamy shower and by the end of it, I was leaning up against the shower wall during the contractions so by this stage I was pretty certain that baby was on their way.
Once I hopped out of the shower, Nick was awake so I asked him to download a contraction timer and told him he should probably take the day off work. Nick works as a community physio and he told me he had an urgent assessment in the morning he had to go to but would only be an hour. This was my first labour so he was under the impression it was going to be an all day affair, as was I! I had heard of people baking cakes and labouring at home for hours on end so I stayed calm and rang my mum to come around so I wasn't on my own.
My mum worked as a midwife in her early nursing days so I felt pretty confident in having her with me. Due to the COVID restrictions at the FBC I was only allowed 1 support person which would obviously be Nick and I always imagined having my mum with me during labour so I was glad she could still be apart of my birth.
It was about 8:30am when the contractions were amping up and just as Nick was leaving for work and my mum arrived, I started throwing up and my body was shaking uncontrollably. I figured this was all of the hormones and adrenalin running through my body.
I found the most comfortable position kneeling on the floor and leaning over the edge of the bed. In between surges, I was finalising my hospital bag (typical me leaving it to the last minute) but as soon as I could feel a surge coming on I jumped back into the kneeling position over the bed.
I felt so comfortable having my mum there, although she didn't quite understand the birthing techniques we had learned and she tried to open up the blinds, talk to me during contractions and at one point turned on the TV to watch Sunrise!
Luckily I still had the energy and focus to be able to communicate with her and keep the room dark and quiet. At this stage the surges were building but I didn't quite have the patience to talk my mum through setting up the TENS machine I had hired, especially after I had just helped her download a contraction timer on her phone.My mum did however provide me with some golden advice that I kept coming back to throughout my labour; at one point the contractions were building in intensity and I could see they were only lasting around 40 seconds. I knew that to go to the FBC they should be lasting for around a minute and I should be having around 3 within 10 minutes. I felt disheartened when I saw that mine were only lasting around 40 seconds and I remember saying to my mum "how will I ever be able to get through a whole minute of this!?" to which she replied "don't worry about what's to come, just focus on the now" and it was exactly the advice I needed, to just get through each contraction one at a time.
Luckily, after about an hour, Nick arrived home and he helped me set up the TENS machine. I remember him adjusting the intensity and flinching when he had turned it up too high. After about half an hour with the TENS on, I was feeling as though we should start making our way to the FBC but I was having trouble communicating this. I now understand when people say that when in labour, you tend to go inwards and although you're aware of your surroundings, it's hard to get the words out. This was one of the reasons I was so glad to have Nick there who knew it was time to call the midwife and head over.
It was around 10:15am when we got in the car and headed into the FBC. My midwife had suggested I wear an eye mask during the car ride (and I'm so glad I did as I can be a bit of a back seat driver) so I had my mask and TENS machine on, and by this time I had the TENS comfortably on the highest setting. Nick was giving me ETA updates on the way and in the last few minutes of being in the car I had a slight urge to push.
When we arrived at around 10:30am, my midwife met me at the car. I felt instant relief hearing her calm voice and entering the beautiful birth suite she had set up for me with dim lighting, a salt lamp and the inflatable bath being filled.
My waters still hadn't broken by the time we were at the FBC and after getting into the room, Nick ducked out to get the bag from the car and as soon as he left the room, my waters broke during my next contraction. My midwife then warned that the surges might be a bit more intense following this.
During my pre natal appointments with my midwife, we had discussed not having a vaginal check because I didn't want to know if I was only 2 or 3cms dilated, but when I arrived she asked me if I wanted one and I had changed my mind and opted to have one. She did the check and without saying anything she left the room. I was thinking, "I'm probably not that far along and maybe she didn't want to let me down". Turns out I was fully dilated and she was ducking out to get everything ready and when she came back into the room she told me I could hop into the water once it had finished filling up.
The next task was taking the TENS off and getting into the water in between surges, which we managed to do successfully. I sank into the perfectly heated bath and was waiting for the next one and then nothing..I looked at my midwife a little puzzled and she told me it was completely normal for the contractions to slow down so I enjoyed the break. It was short lived and then I really felt like I was needing to push. I got into the same kneeling position I had found comfortable throughout my labour and leant over the edge of the inflatable bath and started pushing. I felt as though my body knew exactly what it was doing and the pushing was involuntary. I used the breathing techniques covered in Renee's classes and at 11:44am after around 30 minutes of pushing, out came our little love. I reached down into the water and pulled them out before our midwife prompted us to check the gender. I had a feeling my entire pregnancy I was having a boy so it was no surprise to me when I saw it was in fact a boy, Nick started laughing through his tears and it was at that very moment our hearts grew ten fold because we had met our beautiful son, Dominic Jude.
I hopped out of the water and got onto the bed where Nick and I spent the next few hours taking it all in. I had a physiological third stage, we did delayed cord clamping, Nick cut the cord/"calamari", I had some minor grade 1 tears which were stitched up, and one of the best showers of my life, we snacked on the killer pythons I couldn't stomach during labour and we gazed at our little babe, all 3.715kgs of him. After he had his check from the paediatrician, we were discharged home where my mum and in laws came to meet him.
It still blows my mind that my first contraction was at 6am that morning and by 6pm the same day we were at home in our love bubble eating pizza with our son in our arms. The most incredible, empowering, exhilerating day that still gives me a lump in my throat. Huge thank you to Renee, my amazing midwife, my mum and my incredible husband Nick for his support during labour and ever since, navigating the craziness of parenthood with me.
Image: Paris Hawken Photography