I was so surprised with how much I loved pushing / Emma

With my first birth I had a positive hospital experience and vaginal delivery, though I was left wondering why I didn’t get the ‘love bomb’ and where the support was when I reached transition. Drugs were offered where I naively expected hands on care and reassurance from my care provider.

When I fell pregnant with baby #2 I became birth obsessed! My goals were: vaginal delivery, minimal intervention, a healthy baby, to feel supported and guided through crises of confidence and to experience the ‘love bomb’ after birth. I knew I wanted to do Hypnobirthing to see why people raved about it and to be able to relate more to my clients when they spoke about it (working in the ante- and postnatal healthcare environment). I booked Hypnobirthing Australia’s Positive Birth Program run by Renee, I knew I wanted my partner and sister-in-law (midwife to be) at the birth and was planning to birth in my catchment’s public hospital again – with more education and increased support I have got this!

Then I read Rhea Dempsey’s Birthing with Confidence and saw the Birthtime documentary within a week of each other and my mind was blown. I immediately applied to the two Family Birth Centres in Perth (at over 20 weeks) and got into one! Rhea’s views on the birthing environment affecting your birth outcome and labour pain as ‘functional physiological pain of body working at peak performance’ made so much sense to me.

After session 1 of Renee’s course I felt so empowered and was so looking forward to birthing bub.

Then I got diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes at 28 weeks (by 0.2 on the fasting test) and I felt like all my prep and mindset just went out the window. I had so many emotions and feelings from: why me? and what did I do wrong?, to completely rejecting the diagnosis and feeling annoyed and irritated about the diagnosis’ consequences on my birth options. I was immediately told I could birth at the FBC until 40 weeks and after that would have to transfer my care to the main hospital and be induced at 40 weeks. Extra scans to monitor for a ‘big baby’ were also booked at 34 and 37 weeks. I had to test my BSLs four times a day and every time it would come back with a normal level and it was so irritating!

Vision board with affirmations from friends and family

Renee was so helpful – she offered to send me articles on GDM and the current evidence around care. I was also able to borrow from her lending library to learn more about inductions and the evidence and potential consequences. This exert from Why Induction Matters by Rachel Reed really stuck with me: ‘When a baby is suspected of being big, a woman has an increased chance of interventions during birth, and of experiencing complications caused by those interventions, even if the baby is not actually big. The perception of a baby’s size influences outcomes more than the actual size of a baby.’

At 37 weeks the ultrasound guessed bub to be 3.6kg. I was counselled about the risk of shoulder dystocia, due to ultrasound guestimates of size, and why induction was therefore recommended for GDM/’big babies’; though from my research I found that approximately half of shoulder dystocia events occur in babies weighing <4kg. The articles and book helped me make an informed decision to decline induction until after 40+6 (ACOG and WHO recommendations for diet controlled GDM) as bub and I were both well. My FBC midwife was supportive of my decision and liaised with the doctors for me after they recommended an induction between 38-40 weeks. After showing my BSL levels (all within normal limits) I was given until 40+3 to birth at the FBC, after which I would have to deliver at the main hospital.

In the lead up I had two stretch and sweeps in my 39th week to see if they would help give me a chance to deliver at FBC and avoid medical induction. The first was unsuccessful (cervix wasn’t able to be reached to perform) and subsequent I was able to be stretched to 3cm dilation. Bub was also positioned posterior for the last 4 weeks of pregnancy, so along with everything else I began receiving comments about how much worse posterior labours are. Definitely not the greatest leading into the big day.

I lost my mucus plug at 39+6 but had no other symptoms. I knew deep down bub would come when they were ready and due to other events happening in my life at the time, I knew my body wouldn’t relax and bub wouldn’t come until they were resolved; which happened at 40+2.

Tuesday (40+3) – at 6:30am I began to feel very mild period pain in my lower abdomen that was coming and going every 3 minutes. My partner (Trav) and I got up and got the toddler ready for day care and I messaged my sister in law (Jess) saying ‘It’s baby day!’ At 7:30am I started using the TENS machine I hired and the TENS plus walking around the house and breathing was managing the contraction sensations. Trav and Jess got home at 8am and Jess called my midwife to tell her I was have 4 contractions in 10 minutes and that I wanted to stay at home longer as was managing them well. I continued to walk, sway, hold a heat pack on my lower stomach and use the TENS machine. Having Jess do the calls to the FBC was so helpful as I could stay in my zone.

By 8:30am the contractions had intensified and I was vocalising during them. We were in the car and on the way to the FBC at 9:10am. In the car I found kneeling and leaning forward over the back seat most comfortable. I had an eye mask on (which Renee provided during the course) so that I stayed out of my frontal cortex and had the ‘Affirmations for Beautiful Birthing’ track playing in my head phones. During pregnancy I had enjoyed the Surge of the Sea and Rainbow Mist tracks but by the end of pregnancy I drifted towards the affirmations. In the car, the affirmations would remind me to embrace the intensity and lean into the sensations mid contraction. Between contractions I would rest on the seat and listen to the calm voice on the track.  Jess held a heat pack on my back during the drive and hearing her reassurance and motivation really helped.

During contractions, abdominals working hard

We arrived at the FBC at 9:45am and I met my midwife for the day, as my regular midwife was on days off, and was led through to a room at the centre. I requested a VE as I wanted to know my dilation. My midwife tried to talk me out of it, saying it wasn’t necessary as we would follow my body and instincts, but I needed to know. I was 10cm!! I jumped into the bath which was all set-up and it felt so good! I felt my body wanting to push and my waters broke within the next 1-2 contractions in the bath. It was meconium stained so I had to get out of the bath as per protocol. Back in the room, standing and leaning forward was my position of choice – resting on Trav between contractions and then squatting and pushing with the urge. I wondered during pregnancy whether I would know when and how to push, as last time I had an epidural and had coached pushing as I couldn’t feel the contractions. But for me I knew – my whole body would surge and push and I just went along with it. It was like when you vomit and your abdominal muscles contract autonomically to expel the contents.

I was so surprised with how much I loved pushing. I found the intensity of the contractions disappeared and it felt productive and satisfying to push.

I was also surprised by the sensation of crowning – everyone talks about the horrible ‘ring of fire’ but I would honestly only rate it a 4/10. Baby girl wooshed into the world at 10:10 AM – 20 mins after getting out of the bath and the feeling was incredible – I could not wipe the smile off my face! I had done it!!!! Bub was 4.1kg and came out OA, so she must have turned during labour. 

Bub went straight to the Paediatrician for quick check due to the meconium in my waters and was placed on my chest for skin to skin at 10:13AM. After delivering the placenta, the rest of the day involved skin-to-skin, eating snacks and celebrating! Bub had to go on mec obs for 12 hours post birth due to hospital policy, so I ended up going to the main hospital for the night which was a bummer, but all was well and was home the next day. 

I feel fortunate to have had such an empowering, enjoyable experience. I got the love bomb I was hoping for and am still riding an endorphin high. A positive birth experience can look a lot different between births and Milli Hill’s thoughts on elements that make up a positive birth really resonate with me: When the women’s choices are informed by reality not fear, when they are listened to and treated with respect and dignity, and when they feel empowered and enriched. 

I am so thankful for Rhea Dempsey who influenced the environment and supports I chose for birth and my attitude on functional labour pain. I am also so thankful for Renee and the Positive Birth Program which empowered me to do my own research and advocate for myself and the birth I wanted. It is important to know that you can question decisions, ask for alternatives and say no. I am grateful for the FBC care and the consistent midwife who could get to know me and my goals and vouch for me. And I couldn’t have done it without Trav and Jess who made the morning so love filled. I will treasure the photos Jess snapped forever. 

Skin to skin

Three hours after birth, pure joy, feeling so empowered.